Saturday, November 17, 2018

Truth.  The truth will set you free. Isn't that how the saying goes?  One of the biggest rules in the Smith house has been to tell the truth. When the kids lie, it's a pretty big deal. When they lie, are confronted with the lie and keep lying, the punishment is a bit harsher.  When they have chosen to make the sinful choice of lying to a parent, teacher, sibling, friend, this is something that I do not ignore.

I was listening to a podcast recently and they said that when you lie to someone you are also lying to God. I had never though of it this way before.  I did some thinking on this and I think I understand why. When Jesus talks about himself he says "I am the way, the truth and the life."  God is the father of truth.  Satan is the father of lies. Proverbs 6 lists 7 things that God hates. Lying makes it on that list. So when we choose to lie to someone else, we are taking what God is and throwing it in their face.

Why does he hate it so much? Because lying is so destructive. "Telling lies about or to others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.  Proverb 25:18.  God hates lying because it is so damaging.

Lying, or the no lying rule, makes it on the 10 Commandment lists as well.  It depends on the translation as to the exact word use of "do not lie."  That is where it can get a bit confusing with all of those biblical old time words. The Message is a modern way of looking interpreting the bible. Here is what I found and these all would qualify under the no lying rule:

6. No adultery.
7. No stealing.
8. No lies about others.

Thou shall not commit adultery: in order to commit adultery, you must deceive your spouse. You must break promises that you made to your spouse (forsaking all others).  You must break commitments that you made to God (covenant between you, your spouse and God).  This is the ultimate lie in my book.  Because not only are you lying to your spouse who you are to put above all others but you are lying to God who should be #1 in your life.

Thou shalt not steal:  in order to steal, you take something that is not yours. You lie about the rightful possession of whatever it is that you stole.  You lie by hiding the item away to get it out of the store/house/place.  You then lie to others when they question how you obtained the item.  This commandment also covers the cheating of people of money, time and property that is rightfully theirs.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor:  This is the one that just straight up says that lying is wrong.  God is the author of truth and we are obligated as his followers to uphold the truth and live the truth. So when we intentionally deceive others, we are dishonoring God in the most hateful way.

Recently, I have been confronted with lying in ways that I never thought I would be. It has pierced my heart and made me question the authenticity of who those people really are.  Why would they lie when they haven't been such a deceiver in the past? What has happened within their soul to make them think that lying is acceptable?  Lying to protect someone is not okay.  Lying to cover up blatant sin is not okay.  I would much rather have the truth told to me and deal with that instead of the destruction that lying causes.

Mark 10:18, Msg
Jesus said.... don't lie.

Monday, November 12, 2018

It has been awhile since I have written here. This used to be my outlet to get my words down and out of my heart.  When I go back and read what we were going through, I wish I could go back to that time.  The last posts were about Deacon's Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He was just diagnosed and I was dealing with the realities of that devastating news.

Here is an excerpt that is as important today as it was then:
My husband said it best a few days ago while we were watching another boy's story with DMD.  He said that we watch someone else's story be told. We watch them suffer and grieve. We pray for them always and in some cases help support them.  But now it is us. This is our reality. All of the stories that we are reading about little boys with DMD.  That is our story.  Our son will die.  We will be the parents trying to figure out how to go on without one of their children.  Trying to teach our other children how to be brave in a tragic situation and to let God's love shine through us in our darkest hours.  This is hard. 

Someone else's story. Someone else's grieving and suffering.  Others pray for us.  But now this is us. This is our reality.  Let God's love shine through us in our darkest hours.  What words to describe us then and to describe us now.  In totally different ways but all the same as well.

I feel the need to start writing again. To get my heart clear and out of my mind.  The replaying of words and things that happened.  The innocence that will be lost and the love that is left behind.  Our life is a story, how it is written is up to you.

I'm telling a story with my life, and you are telling a story with your life, and when we are telling our stories, we are setting the compasses of the people around us.  Stories are the most powerful way to teach, and we are learning how to live through the narratives of our stories. And God is saying "I want us to tell better stories."  -Donald Miller










Saturday, April 26, 2014

life is somewhat routine

It has been 72 days since our world was turned upside down.  Just a week since I had my last emotional breakdown.  A day since I worried about Deacon and him saying his foot hurts.

Life is getting back to the normal we knew before.  Everyone has somewhere to be after school.  The mom taxi is back in full swing.  My heart is still heavy with concern for Deacon BUT I am learning how to handle it better.  Breaking down every time anyone asks me about my boy is not a way that I can live.  So many people love him and us and so many people tell me they are praying for him.  I have to see the positive in that instead of the reason that they are speaking out to us.    This week I have done that.

Deacon is doing great. He is rocking the tball field and made it on base this week, 3 times!  He hasn't scored yet but he will.  Aquatic therapy is his new pt and he is doing well in his regular physical therapy.  Overall, he is strong and continues to do new things.

The other kids are doing great as well. Grace turned 7 and is listening to her new iPod as we speak. She likes to sing and hum so it is fun to hear her kinda know the songs and guess at the words.


Cannon is in baseball heaven right now. He loves the game and is off to practice several times a week.  He would play every day if we let him.


Kaylee is doing well and is finishing up her last year at the middle school.  Friends and music are completing her time and she is becoming such a beautiful young lady.


I am so thankful that God gives us people who support us and lift us up when we so badly need it. I would be a pile on the floor with out a few of my very best friends helping me through this time.  So as we continue to live, I will try to be positive and see the beauty in our situation.

Friday, April 11, 2014

every day

Every day I think about Deacon and what his future holds.  Every day I read something about Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Every day I cry or am on the verge of tears.  Every day I ask God why.

My husband said it best a few days ago while we were watching another boys story with DMD.  He said that we watch someone else's story be told. We watch them suffer and grieve. We pray for them always and in some cases help support them.  But now it is us. This is our reality. All of the stories that we are reading about little boys with DMD.  That is our story.  Our son will die.  We will be the parents trying to figure out how to go on without one of their children.  Trying to teach our other children how to be brave in a tragic situation and to let God's love shine through us in our darkest hours.  This is hard.  

Every day I hug this sweet little boy. Every day I thank God for him. Every day I am reminded that we don't have many more days.


   

Thursday, April 3, 2014

the call came

Finally on Tuesday, the call came in that the neurologist had received the DNA test results.  We were able to get in on Wednesday morning.  48 days after hearing the words "I think Deacon needs to be tested for Muscular Dystrophy" the results did confirm that our sweet boy has Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy.  His is a deletion of Exome 19.

Right now he is too young for any clinical trials and there aren't any clinical trials being processed for his deletion.  So we wait. We wait for him to turn 7. We wait for more trials to be developed and started.

We do have several things that we can do and are doing for him now to keep him strong.  That is the goal is to keep him active and walking and as strong as he can be.  Stretching, night splints, physical therapy and medicine will help us do this.  He is such an active little guy that he will be his own physical therapy for a while.  Climbing on the play equipment at school is a great way for him to keep his muscles going.

This will continue to be a place for me to journal and to get my emotions out.  All we can do right now is pray that a cure will be found before it is too late for Deacon.  We appreciate your prayers.

                                                                         My Boys

Saturday, March 22, 2014

not the timing we wanted

When we visited with the neurologist, she said that the dan blood test would take 2-3 weeks. What she didn't tell us is that we needed to pay for the blood test before the lab would start working on it.  So we were a good week in before we paid.  When Ryan talked to the lab people, a timeline was not given so we were under the assumption that we would still hear something in 2-3 weeks.

Well, being the inpatient person that I am, we were 1 day away from 3 weeks.  We were about to leave for Spring Break so I called to see if the doctor had heard anything.  Her nurse said no but she would call and heck.  I heard back from the nurse and she said that the results would not be ready until March 28th.  That was a good 2 weeks later than we had expected.

At first I though maybe the lab was backed up. Then I thought that maybe something was wrong with the blood work or maybe they weren't able to figure out what MD Deacon has.  So I called the lab myself.  I talked to the nicest person. I explained our situation and she said she would figure it out!  When she came back on the line, she said that payment wasn't made until February 27th so it would be up to 4 weeks after that.  She then told us that payment had to be made before the lab would start the testing.  Huh, that would have been great to know when we were at the doctor's office. We would have made calling a little bit more of a priority.

Lesson learned… ask if payment needs to be made before whatever test will be run!  All of the other medical things we have done, we get a bill in the mail afterward.  Oh well.  We are just 6 days away from hearing something.

Monday, March 10, 2014

more from her

I went in prepared with a list full of questions for the neurologist.  I went through them one by one and she answered them all. Diet, exercise, medicine, growing, physical therapy, school, cognitive abilities are just some of the things that we had wondered about.

We also asked the hard question. Is the life expectancy that we had read online really true.  Well, this she wasn't sure about.  They have recently started treating kids with Muscular Dystrophy with steroids.  All of studies that were done that have been published to determine the life expectancy were done before steroid treatment began. So, she doesn't know really.  I would love to hear that the life expectancy will change.  I would be so grateful to know that my boy would live past his teenage years.