Sunday, January 17, 2010

break my heart

"break my heart for what breaks yours"

This quote from a favorite worship song is a frequent prayer of mine. A few years ago while sitting in a conference, the speaker spoke of asking God to destroy him. Destroy who he was and what he was. He wanted to be better for God. To do more for God. To be a better Christian. To live for only God. I pray that God will destroy me. I know that he has been working on me for quite some time and I strive to become better every day for Him.

When we started our adoption process, I had no idea of what conditions were like at the orphanage in Rwanda. After visiting, my heart definitely breaks. I know that God's heart is also breaking. I know that those children have shelter, food, water. But they need families. They need a mama and a papa. They need love. The love that only a family can give them.

I pray that the adoption seed has been planted in our community. Not just by us but by other adoptive stories as well. The process is not difficult. The process is no hard. Depending on which route you take (international/domestic, country, age of the child), the process can go very quickly.

Here are, what I think, are some "old wives tales" about adoption:
1) The child must have their own room. I do not believe that this is true. No where in our adoption paperwork did it ask if the child will have their own room nor did it say that the child must have their own room. This may be true in other countries, but not Rwanda.

2) Adoption is expensive. Yes, adoption does cost money. However, I truly believe, that God will provide for the families that adopt. If you are following God's will, then the adoption will happen no matter how much it costs. There are a variety of ways to raise money. There are adoption grants as well as little to no interest adoption loans.

3) Our family is already large (I have a lot of kids!). Yes, it is true that some countries limit the amount of children that a family can have. However, Rwanda does not. I don't think that Ethiopia does either. These countries make their decision on a case-by-case, family-by-family basis. There are many families that have/are adopting from Rwanda that have, 3, 4, 5 kids already! Some of these families are even adopting more than one putting their kid total at 4, 5, 6. Again, I think that God's will WILL be done.

After being home for a month on January 16, my heart and mind is often flooded with the images of all of the little faces looking up at me or I hear the yelling of their little voices or I remember the smell. When this happens, I say a prayer for the little souls as well as their families. I pray that their adoptive families will start the process to bring them home. I pray that other's hearts will "break for what breaks yours." I pray that God's will be done.


KLTTX said...

Thanks for all of your recent posts. We are just starting the process and it can be a bit overwhelming. There should not be so many delays in getting our kids home to be with us.

Jim and April said...

Great post! I have been praying "break my heart for what breaks yours" and He has and I pray He continues to do so!

A. said...

Why doesn't god give their real families what they need to keep their children?

Ashley Smith said...

A. - I do not have the answer on why God does not give their biological families the resources to be able to take care of the children. I know that God is sovereign and I do not question His plan.

I also know that there are approximately 146 million orphans in this world. I know that as a Christian, it is my duty to care for them in whatever ways I can.

As in response to your "real family" comment. An adoptive family is a real family. Just as real as any other family can be. Our daughter was meant to be our daughter before time began, just as our 2 biological children were. She was meant to be with us and us with her. God has adopted us all into His you not consider God to be your "real family"?