When we discussed this with our worker, she said something that stopped me in my tracks and still barks at me almost daily. She has never placed a 0-2 year old in our county. Now, I don't know how long she has done this job but I think it is at least several years. So, wait a minute, she hasn't placed a 0-2 year old. That is our age range. There are no 0-2 year olds who need a family? That is somewhat surprising to me.
Then she explained why... the state of OK gives parents lots of chances to keep screwing up. Our wonderful state gives parents try after try after try and of course the children pay for it by continually being abused or in a poor living environment. This makes me sad.
I had fooled myself that surely there is a 0-2 year old out there that needs us. This week I received an email with the available kids for adoption from the January meeting. The youngest child was 5. 5 is not in our age range. 5 is not in "my" plan.
So then I say to myself, well, all of the little ones were already adopted out or there will be a little one when we go up for the meeting.
What if that isn't the case? What if she is right? What do we do? Do we wait a few more months? How long should we wait? Do we go another route?
As with Grace's adoption, all is in God's hands. I know that He knows what's going to happen. If our family will grow from 5 to 6. Whether we will introduce a new boy to our clan. I hate not knowing. I hate the uncertain. I am a natural planner and this whole maybe maybe not thing drives me crazy.