Sunday, February 20, 2011

could happen

When we had our home study this go round, we talked with our worker about the age range we would like. 0-2 years is a good fit for our family right now... we've got a 9, 6, 3 currently so to keep the line flowing 0-2 fits right in there.

When we discussed this with our worker, she said something that stopped me in my tracks and still barks at me almost daily. She has never placed a 0-2 year old in our county. Now, I don't know how long she has done this job but I think it is at least several years. So, wait a minute, she hasn't placed a 0-2 year old. That is our age range. There are no 0-2 year olds who need a family? That is somewhat surprising to me.

Then she explained why... the state of OK gives parents lots of chances to keep screwing up. Our wonderful state gives parents try after try after try and of course the children pay for it by continually being abused or in a poor living environment. This makes me sad.

I had fooled myself that surely there is a 0-2 year old out there that needs us. This week I received an email with the available kids for adoption from the January meeting. The youngest child was 5. 5 is not in our age range. 5 is not in "my" plan.

So then I say to myself, well, all of the little ones were already adopted out or there will be a little one when we go up for the meeting.

What if that isn't the case? What if she is right? What do we do? Do we wait a few more months? How long should we wait? Do we go another route?

As with Grace's adoption, all is in God's hands. I know that He knows what's going to happen. If our family will grow from 5 to 6. Whether we will introduce a new boy to our clan. I hate not knowing. I hate the uncertain. I am a natural planner and this whole maybe maybe not thing drives me crazy.

Monday, February 14, 2011

love is....

a family of 5 waiting to become 6

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

March 15

Got the word today that we won't know anything about adoption #2 until after March 15. Let the countdown begin!

Friday, February 4, 2011

adoption #2 update

My facebook status last week was "the adoption process should be renamed the waiting game." As an adoptive parent you hurry up and get your forms complete, then wait. You hurry up and answer the email, then wait. You hurry to get things arranged, then wait. There is alot of hurrying up and waiting....

With adoption #2, we hurried up with our training so that it was done. We hurried up our home study so it was done. We (really me, I dragged Ryan along) did alot of hurrying hoping that others would too.

Have I mentioned before that I am not good with patience?

We are waiting to here back that our adoption resource file is open. Our training was done in mid-December. Our homestudy was done first of January. Now we are just waiting on our file. This sweet little file that is alot like our dossier with Grace. It has everything about us and our family in a file. Once this is open, we can be matched with a child. This will happen at a meeting in March or we can go in and look through the waiting children to see if there is anyone who might fit our family.

Part of my impatience is this: there may not be a child thats right for our family. If this is the case, then I want to know. I want to be able to move on, put adoption #2 on the back burner for awhile. Stop wondering every day if our family will grow. Stop thinking about who this child is, what their story is, what they look like. I just need to know. I am a planner. I like to complete tasks (ie nest). I don't do well with decisions hanging in the air.

Either way we will continue to wait. Wait on this little thing called a file...