Saturday, September 3, 2011

What To Expect When (You're Adopting)

(first portion borrowed from Farmers Wife Tells All)

It's the universal primer on giving birth:
I remember scouring the chapters over and over during my first pregnancy, comforted by the thorough explanations of exactly what was happening inside of me and what was to come. There was even a chapter about what to expect when things don't go as expected (which could be alternately titled, 73 Ways Your Birth Might Go Wrong.) I kind of winced through that chapter, but got through it just so I'd be familiar with what was happening if disaster struck. How on earth did women give birth before this book told them how to?

Exactly, how did we do anything before books, how-to-guides, and the internet. That goes for adoption too. How did people figure out what step they are on, what they need to do next, where to send their documents? How did they know what "situations" were available and what other devices would scare them to death of doing something wrong.

I can't lie. Adoption is a tough road. There are pleasant hills and then there are deep valleys. There are newly paved roads and then there are roads filled with pot holes that will just tear you apart. There is not a guide for it. There is no handy dandy do this and you will get a child book. There are alot of books on "what can go wrong with the process and/or your attachment." But there are no books on what you need to do for a smooth sailing adoption.

This go round for us has been not quite what I expected. There has been a lot more waiting and a lot more unknown. There has been a lot more unanswered questions. But still we wait. I pray that God shows us what he would like for us to do. I pray that He gives us some clear answers and that He protects our hearts from hurt.

Adoption emotions are not much different than pregnancy emotions. Some times women miscarry, some times adoptions don't go through. There is the loss of a child in both of them. There is pain and tears in both of them. And God's will is done in both of them.

I am praying that this fall will be full of answers for us. Full of adoption related answers that can either complete our family or let us know that our family is already complete.

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