Well, yes. The kids that need homes are mostly over the age of 10, aren't necessarily African American in our state or there are more than 3 siblings that can't be split up. In a year, there hasn't been 1 African American under the age of 4 that was chosen for our family. We were recommended for maybe a handful but so were 100's of other families.
We also had another situation that could have ended up in adoption but that failed as well.
Confused. Heartbroken. Sad. Angry. Grieving.
Now we are in a season where Ry doesn't necessarily want to adopt again. There is too much sadness, too much pain, too much of the unknown.
Looking back, Grace's adoption was so simple. I had no idea at the time but it was. We completed our paperwork, waited, then got on a plane to bring her home.
This time we have done everything and have been waiting with nothing for almost a year. Our home study expires mid-January so we really may be at the end.
God calls us to take care of orphans, to take care of those who need help, to give a father to the fatherless. I want to be obedient. I want to do what I am feel I am called to do. I am trying.
What do I do? Private domestic adoption is ridiculously expensive, often times more than International adoption. We looked into Crisis Pregnancy Centers but they too are usually high on the dollar side as well as several of them want you to have an open adoption. I don't know that we would want that. Rwanda is closed on their adoptions right now. It has been 15 months now that they have been working on the Hague accreditation. The are no DHS children who need us. We want to provide a home for someone who needs one. Someone who needs a family. Someone who belongs in our family.
My heart aches, like really really aches. I adamantly believe there is another child out their for us. But where are they....
2 comments:
Oh Ashley, I am so sorry about the dead ends after getting your hopes up over and over again. We think of you all so very often and as a family we will commit to praying this little Smith (wherever he is) home to your sweet family.
I share your questions and frustrations with the wait - we've had a dossier in Rwanda since June 2010. I'm curious though, where you're getting the information that domestic infant adoption is super expensive?
We adopted our daughter at birth through Bethany in 2007 and it was significantly less expensive than our Rwanda adoption is adding up to be. We've already paid 3/4 the total cost of our first adoption (and that's without the referral fee or in-country/travel expenses). All said and done, our domestic adoption was less than $20,000. It's looking like our Rwanda adoption will be at least 50% more than that.
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