Saturday, August 18, 2012

butterflies

The butterflies have found their permanent home. In. My. Stomach.  Our trip is oh so soon and I am getting a wee bit nervous.  It's not the 24 hour seat in the sky or the day long car ride that is doing this to me.  It's the hope and worry to how he will respond to us and how he will respond to me.

With Grace, I had the rose colored motherhood glasses on and just knew she would love me and want me and I could do all things motherly to her and for her instantly.  I had 2 older kids and that was just how it worked.  Well, she didn't get that memo from the nuns because instead of wanting me she cried when I tried to do anything for her. Holding her, feeding her, playing with her all resulted in her clinging to him.  She attached to Ryan at first sight.   I am so thankful that she did attach to him so quickly.  I am just hoping that maybe this time around will be different.

Our little guy is older than Grace by a year and a half at our first meeting. He will be more set in his ways and probably have more opinions than G did.   He will probably want Ryan like Grace did. I mean who wouldn't? He is handsome, tall, strong.  All things that can protect them and make them feel safe.   I will just keep the food and toys and hopefully those can be persuasion items!




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